“It doesn’t get any better than this.”

The end of February.  The beginning of March.

Cornelia is nearly three years old.  She’s a little person with her own thoughts, her own opinions, her own personality and her own questions.  And she has a lot of questions.  “Why?” is a current favorite, which I think is pretty standard for her age.  Personally I like the challenge of seeing how many times I can answer a string of her “why?” questions with a legitimate answer before she moves on to something else.  Another favorite question is “What’s your name?”  She likes to ask this questions over and over and over again.  It goes something like this:

     Coco:  “What’s your name?” 
     Me:  “Daddy.” 
     Coco:  “What’s your name?” 
     Me:  “Daddy.” 
     Coco:  “What’s your name?”
     Me:  “Daddy.”
     Coco:  “No, that’s what I call you.  What’s your name?”
     Me:  “Mike.”
     Coco:  “Noooo . . . . It’s Daddy.”

I think this is somehow a three-year-old’s version of a “knock knock” joke.

Coco continues to be very much a “girly” girl.  She loves to wear her ballerina tutus and dresses (she has several) and dance around and put on shows for Daddy and Papa.  Angelina Ballerina is one of her favorite choices for her bedtime story, as is Ladybug Girl.  She likes to be a princess too.  A couple weeks ago we were on our way to the country on a Friday night.  It was late, so of course Ken and the twins were asleep.  (Because that’s what they do on the way to the country.)  I was driving and Coco was in the back seat playing games and watching videos on the iPhone.  (Because that’s what we do on the way to the country.)  As I listened along to her video I heard someone (I think it was Daniel Tiger) ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  Without even so much as a pause Coco responded, “A princess.”  Thank god Ken was asleep for that little quip from the backseat!

We have definitely entered a sweet spot with the twins.  They’re now six months old.  And they are sleeping through the night.  Consistently.  (But don’t tell anyone.  Other parents will hate us.)  They go to sleep usually around 7:00 or so and they sleep for up to twelve hours.  Of course, this also means that I have to regularly check to be sure they’re alive and breathing.  It’s just such a shock for them to go from sleeping only 5 or 6 hours to suddenly hitting 10, 11 and even 12 hours a night.  Something must be wrong, right?  And Flynn doubles my stress since he flips over onto his stomach within minutes of going to bed and then sleeps that way all night.  Margot also just started rolling over. 

Fortunately one of my “parental super powers” is super-duper hearing.  I can hear whether or not a baby is breathing from outside a bedroom door.  My other “parental super power” is soothing a crying baby back to sleep (most of the time) and Flynn has tested that super power a lot in the last couple weeks.  My third parental super power relates to poopy diapers so I’ll skip the description.

Besides sleeping through the night, Flynn and Margot are now very expressive.  Their faces light up when they see you.  They smile and start waving their arms with excitement.  In addition to “happy” they also do pretty good “surprised,” “puzzled” and “concerned” faces.  They are just starting to laugh a bit as well.

So right now is a pretty special time, I think.  At the end of the day when I come in the door from work Coco still yells “Daddy!” and runs and jumps to be picked up.  She likes to hold hands going everywhere (including just going up and down the stairs in the house).  The twins are happy to see you when they see your big face appear above them, and they are fascinated by pretty much any expression on your face or any sound out of your mouth.  It really doesn’t get any better than this, right?


  

Coco and Flynn "hangin' in the crib."

The double stroller with "piggy back" (the wheeled stand for Coco to ride on)

Family time on the iPad

 

 

 

Margot and Flynn at Four Months (and a half)

Margot and Flynn are now four and a half months old.  It seems strange to me that they were born only four and a half months ago.  Last September and our trip to India seem a very, very long time ago.  Perhaps it’s the sleep deprivation that makes the past several months seem like a distant memory.  Perhaps it’s because my memory is not exactly hitting on all cylinders right now.

Margot and Flynn are now toying with the idea of sleeping through the night.  They’ve experimented with it a number of times over the past few weeks.  Some nights they have slept for as long as six and even eight hours without waking up for a bottle.  A few times both of them have done it on the same night, but generally they like to take turns and then consult with one another in the morning through the crib rails. 
 

 

 

 

 

 

Flynn, looking through the rails at Margot:  "So, what did you think of sleeping for so long last night?”

Margot, waving her arms at the mobile above her head:  “I’m not sure yet. It’s a long time without a bottle, and I think Papa and Daddy like to wake up and hold us every few hours.  They get lonely I think.”

Flynn, looking up at Margot’s mobile:  “Yeah, Daddy gets up for a little snack himself anyway.  I figure I might as well join him.”

Margot, whispering, and still waving at her mobile:  “Ssshhhh!  Not so loud.  Papa doesn’t know about Daddy’s night snacks.”

Flynn, turning to contemplate his own mobile:  “You know they have to wind that thing up to make it go, right?”

Margot: “Oh.  Right.”

It does seem like we’re approaching something akin to a schedule.  The twins seem to be thinking about something that includes bottles between 5 and 6 p.m., then a little awake time with Daddy and Papa (whoever happens to be home that night), followed by a nap until it’s time for another bottle between 11 p.m. and midnight, and then sleep again until 5 or 6 a.m.  There are some variations, but that’s the approximate framework at this point.

So, perhaps we are finally moving out of the period of acute sleep deprivation.  I’m glad we did it on our own – the whole sleep deprivation thing.  We had help from grandparents a couple of times, and both Ken and I traveled for work and that allowed for a bit more sleep at times (although neither one of us gets a lot of sleep when we are away for work, even when we need it.)  But, basically, we slogged through more than four months with sleep only in three or four-hour increments.  It is amazing what you can do without a lot of sleep but with a lot of caffeine and a lot of will power.  And, as hard as it was and as much as I want to remember the adventure of it all, the feeling of the intensity of the experience is already fading a bit.  I’m beginning to think sometimes that it couldn’t have happened the way I describe it.  It couldn’t have been that bad, right?  Both of us working full time?  Busiest time of the year?  Traveling for work?  Coco starting school?  Three under three?  And really only getting sleep in three or four-hour increments all that time?  Seriously?  Perhaps as a reminder I’ll hang on to the memory of the time Ken was away for work and I woke up one morning and, exhausted and not sure what exactly had happened the night before, I got up just to make sure there was a baby in each crib.  (There was.) 

Both Margot and Flynn have reached the point where they are smiling a lot and making a lot of sounds.  Margot laughed a week ago for the first time.  She has also mellowed a lot; she doesn’t demand to be held as much as she used to.  Flynn hasn’t laughed yet, but he likes to make sounds more than Margot does.  This past week he mastered the art of rolling over.  Last night he rolled over a couple of times during the night and, as much as I fear leaving him on his stomach, I didn’t roll him back over every time.  I figure it must be the way he likes to sleep.  They don’t like being left alone when they are awake and know you’re in the house because they just saw your face hovering above them.  You can’t leave them in their cribs while you go make dinner, for example.  They will cry until you bring them downstairs and put them in their bouncy chairs on the kitchen floor so they can watch all the activity. 

Watching dinner prep.

 

 

 

 

Margot's first "selfie"

Christmas Wrap (up)

Well, it’s a wrap.  Christmas has come and gone.  And 2013 is nearly done too.  What a year it’s been.  To say it’s been busy would be an understatement.  But we made it across the finish line. 

Christmas was really special for us this year, and it was a wonderful reward after a year in which our family was apart a good deal of the time.  I was traveling constantly for the first half of the year, including a two-month period when I traveled nearly every week.  Ken was filming in Los Angeles for two months during the summer and I think we didn’t see each other for almost six weeks.  He was also away from Cornelia for a month during the summer and then we were both away from her for a month while we were India in September.  Our travel continued even after we brought Margot and Flynn home at the end of September.  And all of that on top of just the daily rush.  So, although we missed having grandparents, aunts and uncles with us for Christmas, five consecutive days as a family of five in the same place and without work was really memorable.

On Christmas Eve day we all took the train downtown to find Santa.  Coco wanted a new whiffle ball and needed to tell Santa.  A dog chewed her ball in the country and she needed a new one.  So when Santa asked her what she wanted for Christmas she told him right away: “a ball.”  Then he asked her if she wanted anything else.  “A bat for Daddy,” she said.

 

On Christmas Eve we prepared for Santa’s arrival.  We baked cookies and put them out with a cup of milk for Santa and some carrots for the reindeer.  Santa must have enjoyed them because they were gone the next morning when Coco came downstairs.  The carrots too.

We also coined a new term on Christmas Eve this year.  Early in the day Coco spotted a carton of eggnog in the fridge.  "I want some leche! I want some leche!" she demanded.  I told her that it was special leche and we had to save it for later for the party.  So that night when the guests for dinner arrived and she wanted something to drink, Coco asked for "party leche" and that become our term for eggnog this year.

 

Coco’s Christmas morning was everything it should be for a two-and-a-half year old.  She found all the presents Santa left for her and it was quite a bounty – a piggy bank, a ferry boat with cars, a tea party set, a box of crayons, markers and other art supplies, ballerina slippers, a tool box, a Play Mobil pirate ship (assembly required!) and of course a bag of white whiffle balls.  Because Coco's only two-and-a-half she played with each toy as she opened it – and we had to remind her that there were more to open.  In fact, we didn’t finish opening presents on Christmas Day and had to finish up the following day.

 

Many thanks to the family and friends who sent gifts for all three kids. They were all very much appreciated.

The holidays were also filled with friends popping in or coming over for dinner.  Some friends we had not seen for six months or more.  On Saturday Ken and I attended Chip Grant and John Moore's wedding which was a beautiful church service.  (Maybe it made up for missing midnight mass on Christmas Eve.)  We wrapped up the holiday weekend with a family trip to the California Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park to see the reindeer, the penguins and all the fish in the aquarium. 

Happy New Year to everyone!   

Coco (2 years), Flynn & Margot (4 months)

Coco's Christmas Eve dress





Margot & Flynn - Only spectators this year

Coco helping Daddy make gift wrap for Papa's presents.

Papa and Coco assembling the pirate ship;
three hours and two glasses of wine

  

 

 

A lot like Christmas

Yes, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here.  The Christmas tree is up, with lights and decorated, and the garland is up too.  The Christmas cards are addressed and in the mail, and the Christmas shopping is done -- at least for the kids it is.   We've watched Rudolph, Frosty and the Grinch.  Even the trip to see Santa is scheduled.  The Advent calendar is nearly finished.  It's hard to believe we've pulled it off amid the year-end evaluation process at Perkins Coie, holiday sales at Kenneth Wingard, appearances on Home & Family, pre-school and bottles every few hours.    



This year we didn't haul a Christmas tree back from our place in Boonville for the first time in six years (since we bought the place, actually).  We decided that with three kids, the annual "Christmas tree hunt" - which includes me traipsing across the hillsides while Ken points from the driveway -would be a bit too much.  And the fact that we miraculously . . . um, I mean . . . mysteriously didn't have anything in the barn to use to tie the tree to the top of the Explorer pretty much cinched the decision not to bring a tree back to San Franciso.  So, it was the Christmas tree lot in the city for us, where you simply point to your chosen tree and they put it in your tree stand for you, throw it up on top of the car and tie it down for you.  Worth every nickel, if you ask me.



Coco helped put the lights on the tree and helped decorate it too.  A few days later she helped put presents from Grandma and Grandpa (Gothams and Wingards) under the tree.  Last night she helped hang candy canes on the tree (and this morning she wanted one for breakfast). 


Of course, the annual Christmas festivities have started as well.  Mark McCormick's dinner party, Bob Sundstrom's cocktail party, the Daddy's brunch in Piedmont and Christmas caroling with the Potomac Street neighbors - to mention a few.  This year we added pre-school events to the schedule.  The highlight was the holiday party for all five Hola Kids campuses at the Randall Museum.  The fete included the kids -- about 40 of them between the ages of 2 and 4 -- flamenco dancing and singing Christmas carrols in Spanish.  We didn't realize that there would be a performance so we didn't have our video camera with us (total rookie move!) -- but we managed to get some footage of Coco's first stage appearance on our iPhones.  I'm sure someday it will be nostalgia video on American Idol, the Voice or So You Think You Can Dance.

Hanging the Red Santa

Editor's Note: Okay, I realize there is no report on the twins in this post. I'll post something soon. Rest assured. They're alive and well!

Coco's outfit for the school party



A special drink at Uncle Mark's annual holiday dinner

Practicing for Christmas Eve with a new flashlight from Grandpa Roy

The best part of Christmas?  The bubble wrap.

 

The Twins at Three Months

Flynn and Margot at Three Months

The twins are three months old today.  At their check-up last week they both weighed more than double their birth weights.  Flynn has bulked up to 10 lbs. 13 oz. and Margot is not far behind at 9 lbs. 5 oz.  They are 23 and 22.5 inches respectively. 

Their personalities are beginning to shine a bit, I think.  Flynn is pretty mellow for the most part.  He finishes his bottles without a lot coaxing and general falls asleep once he’s done.  He can be content hanging out in the jiminy-thing or sometimes in his crib.  Margot, on the other hand, is a wee bit more high maintenance.  She likes to sip on her bottle; drinking an ounce here, maybe two ounces there.  Then she might take a quick nap and then maybe she might have bit more to drink.  She does not like to be put down; she is happiest when she’s being held, cuddled and rocked. 

Flynn

One evening recently -- when I was home with them on my own -- I was holding Flynn and chatting with him a bit.  Margot was in her bouncy chair on the breakfast room table across from me.  I glanced at her and, as I watched, it seemed to dawn on her that I was holding Flynn.  Which meant I wasn’t holding her.  As that realization came over her, a mixture of stunned surprise and outrage flashed across her face and – wait for it, wait for it – she erupted into bawling and tears.  I looked at her and was like, “Seriously?  Can’t you let your brother get just a lil’ bit o’ love from time to time?” 

Margot

In the past week or so they’ve started to spend a good deal of time watching the world around them, taking it all in.  Just this week they started smiling quite a bit and making their first sounds (other than crying). 

I have to confess that parenting “3 under 3” can be rough, and it’s even rougher with twins in the mix.  When Coco was born, I took six weeks of leave before I went back to work, and Ken took that much time off as well.  By the time I went back to work Coco was sleeping four to five hours a night pretty consistently.  And course with Coco it was two dads per one baby. 

With the twins, it’s been completely different.  When we came back from India Ken and I went back to work right away.  We got home on a Saturday and I was back in the office on Monday morning.  Ken also started traveling to Los Angeles almost weekly for appearances on Home & Family, while I’ve made three trips to Seattle in the last two months.  And the twins are not on any sort of schedule – despite Ken’s continued attempts to impose one.

When one of us is away, the other one is at home alone with three kids.  Ken seems to be nonplussed by it.  I was gone for five days in late October and kept calling and asking, “how’s it going?” “is everything going okay?”  “yep, it’s all fine,” Ken would say.

Why, then, is it not “all fine” when Ken’s away and I’m home alone with the kids?  When it me on my own, I come home from work, Mari leaves, and I immediately start worrying.  “When are the twins going to start crying?”  “What if they’re crying at the same time?”  “How do I get Coco her dinner if both twins are crying?” “How do I make dinner for Coco if she insists on jumping off her stool and both twins are crying?”  (Jumping off things is one of Coco’s favorite things to do right now.)  The worst is when all three – Coco, Margot and Flynn – are crying at the same time.  I admit that a few times I've parked Coco in front of the TV with “Dora” while I tried to make dinner or alternated between picking up two crying babies.

As for sleep those nights?  Forget about it.  I mentally prepare myself to pull an all-nighter every time.  Just like in college, right?  Yeah, except college was 20 years ago.  Okay, more like 25 years ago.  I put Coco to bed and give the twins their 8:00 p.m. bottles.  Typically they sleep for 2 – 3 hours and I logon and get some work done.  Then, around midnight, the “up and down” starts.  Basically I am on call for bottles for two babies who are not on the same schedule and who are not sleeping more than three hours a stretch.  (I know, I know, you’re supposed to get them on the same schedule.  Except I’m not very good at giving them both a bottle at the same time.  So the "same schedule" theory doesn’t work very well for me.)  In the morning I get ready for work before Coco is up and then when she wakes up I get her breakfast – all the time hoping that the twins won't wake up until Mari arrives at 8:00.

Then, a few weeks ago, it dawned on me.  Those kids have figured it out.  They know that Ken is “no-nonsense Papa.”  They know that Ken is like, “Don’t you cry for no good reason!”  Me?  Daddy?  I’m like, “Huh?  What do you need? Bottle? Diaper? Rocking? Cuddling? What do you need?”  Last Saturday Ken left the house to work at the store for a few hours.   As he left, and as the front door shut, I swear Margot and Flynn turned their heads, looked at each other, paused (for dramatic effect) and then started wailing.  Full. Throttle. Wailing.  And, in the same instant, from another room in the house, Coco looked up, cocked her head slightly, and started yelling, “Daddy!  Daddy!  Come jump with me!”  Yep, those kids have figured it out.

 

Those kids . . . . 

 

Halloween 2013

Oh, how times have changed . . ..  On Halloween
this year I left the office early.  Not just a little early.  Like, really early.  Like, 2:30 in the afternoon early.  And I don’t even like Halloween.  Never have.  But I was off to the Halloween potluck at Cornelia’s pre-school.  Yes, times have changed.

This year Coco dressed as Dora the Explorer.  Ken created the costume himself and did a great job.  He re-covered Coco’s backpack so it looked just like Dora’s, made a Map to peek out of the backpack, and even created a bracelet to match Dora’s.  To complete the overall effect of Coco’s outfit, Ken dressed as Boots and I dressed as Diego.  Ken even found time to make caramel-covered apples for the preschool potluck (and they were awesome).


Halloween was quite an event on Potomac Street for the second year in a row.  Last year I distributed flyers to all the houses on the block to encourage neighbors to trick-or-treat in the neighborhood and to expect kids to be trick-or-treating.  With so many kids on our block it seemed like we could have fun if everyone stayed close to home rather than trekking off to other neighborhoods.  This year we distributed flyers on Potomac Street and on several other blocks as well.  The turnout was great.  Ken and I think we saw over 100 kids.

Cornelia had a great time.  She definitely understood the drill right away.  “Say ‘trick-or-treat’ and someone hands you a dolce?  Brilliant.”

Chatting on the porch with Sam and Elizabeth from next door we talked about trick-or-treating in the suburbs when we were kids.  First, we all of lived much further north and only remember trick-or-treating in the dark with flashlights.  We also remember lots of long driveways and long walks between houses.  Our kids, meanwhile, are trick-or-treating at twilight and only walk about a dozen steps between porches and those heaping bowls of candy.  They don’t even have to walk up the porch and ring the bell; everyone is sitting on the steps with their bowls of candy.  We also wondered -- as we sipped on our margaritas -- if our parents carried adult beverages with them as they followed us around on the those dark streets with flashlights.  Somehow, I don’t think so.  Who knows, maybe I might just come to like Halloween.

 

"Margot go home?"

Ed. Note:  Apologies for the long delay in posting.  Time and sleep are two precious commodities these days.  I’ll try to catch up on all the news.  But, first, this quick anecdote.

So, it happened.  Everyone tells the story of that moment when their first-born child asks when the new baby (or babies) will be leaving or asks that the new baby be sent back from whence it came.  We finally had that moment.  On Tuesday this week, Coco was eating dinner at the breakfast room table.  Margot was in her bouncy chair-thing on the table and she was crying (as she is wont to do). 
     As I’m picking Margot up, Coco asks me casually, “Margot go home?” 
     I’m like, “huh??”
     “Margot go home?” Coco says again.
     And I realize that The Moment has arrived.  Coco wants the twins to leave.  “Well, Margot lives here with us,” I tell her.
     “No!  This my house!” Coco insists, raising her voice and waving her hand around to suggest that everything the sun touches is hers.  “My house!”
     “But Margot lives here with us,” I say again.  “Will you share your house?”
     “No!  Not share!” she says in her little pouty voice.
     “You won’t share your house with Margot?”
     “No!  Not share!”
     “But, that will make Margot very sad if she doesn’t have a place to live.”
     Coco pauses, looks at her dinner plate, and thinks about it.  After a few seconds, she says, “Ok.  I share.”
     And The Moment is over.