Dear Readers:
About this time last year I wrote a post about the exhausting schedule
of managing “three under three” – three children under the age of three
including infant twins – while both Ken and I were working far more than full
time and both of us were traveling for work.
At the time I wrote it I remember thinking, “I don’t want to forget just
how exhausting all this was. Someday I
might think it couldn’t have been that hard.”
Well – note to future self – it was hard. Really hard.
Worth it, of course. But hard
nonetheless. A year later I find myself
in a similar frame of mind. Hence the
following post. It’s long and I won’t
know whether or not you read it. Feel
free to skip the text and go straight to the pictures. Certainly the pictures are the better part of
the post.
It’s been more than three months since I last posted
here. Although I’ve wanted to post
something and have felt guilty about not posting anything, I’ve not done it
until now. Well, the following
better-late-than-never post might provide a bit of insight into our lives for
the past three months and why a blog post just hasn’t been at the top of my
to-do list. (And, hey, future-Coco, future-Flynn and future-Margot, pay attention
to this post because this is my version of “I remember when I had to walk to
school in the snow uphill both ways.”
And do not roll your eyes future-Flynn! ‘cause I can see you from here!)
When he’s not in Los Angeles (or, actually, even when he
is in Los Angeles) he’s prepping for upcoming segments on Home & Family,
building his media presence (blogging, posting, tweeting, etc.), and managing
the Wingard store. The store runs pretty
smoothly and Ken can manage it remotely, calling a few times a day, placing
orders on the road, and spending time in the store on the weekends. There have been some hiccups of course. Several weeks ago a now-former employee
decided to “follow his heart” and go to some festival in Oregon. He thought leaving a Post-it note on the door
was a sufficient “won’t be coming to work today” message. Fortunately, because Ken calls the store
multiple times a day he quickly figured out that this guy had, well, “followed
his heart.”
In November a few weeks ago I was in Seattle for a meeting
and I realized that my day-long meeting would not finish in time for the last
flight home to San Francisco. Ken had
left for Los Angeles that morning and I was supposed to be home that night,
albeit late. Fortunately our nanny Mari was
happy to stay the night. The following
morning I got up at 3:15 a.m. to catch a 5:00 a.m. flight to San Francisco so I
could be home by 8:00 a.m., take Cornelia to school, and then be at work by
9:00 a.m.
One Tuesday night in October the kids went to sleep with Ken home and me gone and then woke up on Wednesday morning with me home and Ken gone. Coco was entirely nonplussed when she found Daddy home and Papa gone that morning. I think she thought we were being funny.
On the days Ken is gone – Tuesdays, Wednesday and
Thursdays – my days are divided into four parts.
The day shift: Work from 9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. if it’s a school day, or to 5:30 p.m. if it’s not a school day.
The evening shift:
On school days take the train to Noe Valley to pick Coco up at
school. Take the train home with
Coco. Home by 6:00 p.m. every day. Mari has Margot and Flynn fed and in their
pajamas. From 6:00 to 8:00 p.m., play,
dinner for Coco, more play, story time for twins, bedtime for twins, pajamas
for Coco, story time for Coco, bedtime for Coco.
I don’t think our schedule is unique. It can’t be unique. How many families these days don’t have working parents juggling busy work and childcare schedules? I don’t even think our travel schedules are exceptional. Lots and lots of people travel for work and many people have to be away from home for much longer periods of time. I think the description of our past three months would resonate with a lot of busy -- and exhausted -- parents.
I think we’re lucky that every day our kids wake up to a parent at home to start their day and have a parent at home for dinner and bedtime stories every night. Mornings and evenings (at least while the kids are awake) are very rarely interrupted by work emails and phone calls. Work on the weekend is generally very early in the morning or late at night. When we are with the kids, we are with the kids. And our routine times are special in their own way.
Twice a week
Coco and I commute home together. We
walk from her school to the train, wait a bit for it to come, ride it from Noe
Valley to the Castro, and then walk home through Duboce Park. I ask her how her day was at school (“Good,”
she says.) and she asks me how my day was at work (“Fine,” I say.) We share the left over Goldfish crackers from
her lunch. Sometimes we have
adventures. This week it rained so hard
on our walk home that we had to take cover from the downpour. We were literally huddled under an
umbrella. (Okay, I admit that I played up
the adventure aspect a bit just to make it more interesting for her.)
Every night for story time with Flynn and Margot I throw the bed pillows on the floor and all three of us pile on. They hear the pillows hit the floor and they come running ready to plop themselves down. Then they proceed to try to turn storybook pages before I’m done reading them or grab for the next book before I’m ready to read it.
Ken often takes Fridays off so that he can spend the day with the kids. Invariably he takes them on an outing, typically to the park followed by lunch at a nearby café.
So, in the end, really, we’re just like all the other busy parents out there. We’re just making it work.
It’s been more than three months since I last posted
here. Although I’ve wanted to post
something and have felt guilty about not posting anything, I’ve not done it
until now. Well, the following
better-late-than-never post might provide a bit of insight into our lives for
the past three months and why a blog post just hasn’t been at the top of my
to-do list. (And, hey, future-Coco, future-Flynn and future-Margot, pay attention
to this post because this is my version of “I remember when I had to walk to
school in the snow uphill both ways.”
And do not roll your eyes future-Flynn! ‘cause I can see you from here!)
In September, October and November, between the two of us,
we took 35 flights and were away from home 57 nights.
Ken finished his fourth season as a designer on Home Made
Simple in early October. After working
for nearly ten weeks in Los Angeles with only a few opportunities to come home
for the weekend, he finally came home on October 3rd. Then (bless his heart!) he started traveling
back and forth to Los Angeles every week for three appearances each week on
Home & Family. He leaves the house
on Tuesday mornings at 4:30 a.m. for a 6:00 a.m. flight and then flies home on
Thursday evenings. Fortunately, most
weeks he’s home in time for dinner on Thursdays, so he’s only gone two nights a
week.When he’s not in Los Angeles (or, actually, even when he
is in Los Angeles) he’s prepping for upcoming segments on Home & Family,
building his media presence (blogging, posting, tweeting, etc.), and managing
the Wingard store. The store runs pretty
smoothly and Ken can manage it remotely, calling a few times a day, placing
orders on the road, and spending time in the store on the weekends. There have been some hiccups of course. Several weeks ago a now-former employee
decided to “follow his heart” and go to some festival in Oregon. He thought leaving a Post-it note on the door
was a sufficient “won’t be coming to work today” message. Fortunately, because Ken calls the store
multiple times a day he quickly figured out that this guy had, well, “followed
his heart.”
Fortunately, Ken’s travel schedule and my travel schedule
have not conflicted. My travel has been
mostly at the end of the week, through the weekend and/or at the beginning of
the week. And most of it has been on the
West Coast. But the scheduling is still difficult. October was particularly
challenging. Three times I had to be on
a flight leaving San Francisco on a Thursday, the day Ken comes home from Los
Angeles in the evening. On two of those
Thursdays I dropped Cornelia off at school in the morning and then went
straight to the airport. Our good friend
(actually, pretty much our best friend at this point) Eric picked her up from
school in the afternoon and delivered her home. On the third Thursday, Ken and
I played our parental version of “Tag,
you’re it!” Ken arrived home in the
evening as usual. He came up the front
steps and in the door; I met him at the door, gave him a kiss good-bye, took my
suitcase and trotted down the steps and into a waiting cab headed for the
airport.
In November a few weeks ago I was in Seattle for a meeting
and I realized that my day-long meeting would not finish in time for the last
flight home to San Francisco. Ken had
left for Los Angeles that morning and I was supposed to be home that night,
albeit late. Fortunately our nanny Mari was
happy to stay the night. The following
morning I got up at 3:15 a.m. to catch a 5:00 a.m. flight to San Francisco so I
could be home by 8:00 a.m., take Cornelia to school, and then be at work by
9:00 a.m. One Tuesday night in October the kids went to sleep with Ken home and me gone and then woke up on Wednesday morning with me home and Ken gone. Coco was entirely nonplussed when she found Daddy home and Papa gone that morning. I think she thought we were being funny.
(Hey, future-Coco,
future-Flynn and future-Margot, are you listening? Like I said up above, “In the snow. Uphill.
Both ways.”)
On the days Ken is gone – Tuesdays, Wednesday and
Thursdays – my days are divided into four parts.The day shift: Work from 9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. if it’s a school day, or to 5:30 p.m. if it’s not a school day.
The evening shift:
On school days take the train to Noe Valley to pick Coco up at
school. Take the train home with
Coco. Home by 6:00 p.m. every day. Mari has Margot and Flynn fed and in their
pajamas. From 6:00 to 8:00 p.m., play,
dinner for Coco, more play, story time for twins, bedtime for twins, pajamas
for Coco, story time for Coco, bedtime for Coco.
(future-Coco! future-Flynn!
future- Margot! Say it with me now: “Snow!
Uphill! Both ways!”)
So, dear readers, you might wonder if I worry about our
schedule and its impact on the kids. I
used to, but I don’t anymore. I don’t think our schedule is unique. It can’t be unique. How many families these days don’t have working parents juggling busy work and childcare schedules? I don’t even think our travel schedules are exceptional. Lots and lots of people travel for work and many people have to be away from home for much longer periods of time. I think the description of our past three months would resonate with a lot of busy -- and exhausted -- parents.
I think we’re lucky that every day our kids wake up to a parent at home to start their day and have a parent at home for dinner and bedtime stories every night. Mornings and evenings (at least while the kids are awake) are very rarely interrupted by work emails and phone calls. Work on the weekend is generally very early in the morning or late at night. When we are with the kids, we are with the kids. And our routine times are special in their own way.
Every night for story time with Flynn and Margot I throw the bed pillows on the floor and all three of us pile on. They hear the pillows hit the floor and they come running ready to plop themselves down. Then they proceed to try to turn storybook pages before I’m done reading them or grab for the next book before I’m ready to read it.
Ken often takes Fridays off so that he can spend the day with the kids. Invariably he takes them on an outing, typically to the park followed by lunch at a nearby café.
So, in the end, really, we’re just like all the other busy parents out there. We’re just making it work.
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| Halloween 2014 |
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